I was a battered wife for almost sixteen years. I suffered mental, physical, emotional and sexual abuse.

My husband controlled my life. He controlled the finances, even my paycheck from my job. He was a military man with strong political ties.

The question most asked is, "Why did you stay?" I asked myself that same question many times, but there is no doubt in my mind today that I did what I had to do.

I stayed because of insecurity. I was afraid I could not make it on my own with two small children. I had no money and no skills to find a decent job. There was nowhere to turn. My parents encouraged me to stay pointing out the fact that it was a tough world with two children to raise.

I stayed because he promised to change. We would go through the honeymoon state. This only lasted until the next episode which intensified with time. he was always sorry.

I stayed because the police were on his side because of his political ties. Even while lying on a table in the emergency room with blood gushing from my head, his police officer friends let him in the room. The security cop made him leave while the officers did nothing. I gave up believing that any type of law agency would help me.

I stayed because of my religious convictions. My pastor kept telling me to pray for my husband, and to be submissive. he and the Deacons of the church wanted to "lay hands" on me and cast away the demons they were sure were causing our marital problems. No one knew the extent of the problem.

The day I walked out, i knew there was to be no more. If I stayed I would be dead. The door slamming still echoes in my mind. I left everything I cherished behind.

The price for freedom came high. It took me three years to get a divorce. Again, his political ties and financial influence. Slowly, I've put the pieces back together and I discovered a woman that I didn't know existed. Someday, when I'm finally healed and strong, I hope to help other women grasp the power to leave before going through all the unnecessary pain of living with an abuser.