The National Domestic Violence Hotline is: 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224(TTY)
They encourage you to call:
"If something about your relationship with your partner scares you and you need to talk, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)."
Translators are available. Their web page is www.ndvh.org
Abuse Registry hotline is: 1-800-962-2873
Call either of the two numbers above to find help in your local area. Call now. Don't wait for a crisis to develop. Know where to go for help in your area for when the time arises. A little planning ahead now will help you and your children. Call your local shelter and ask them how to prepare a safety plan for leaving your abuser. You never know if you may need to leave your house during a domestic crisis emergency. A few simple steps towards developing a safety plan now may one day save your life.
- You may never need to use your safety plan but you will gain inner strength and confidence knowing your safety plan is in place and ready to go should the need ever arise.
If it is a loved one involved in an abusive situation a safety plan is one of the best ways to help you can provide. Develop an emergency safety plan yourself, and have it in place should the telephone call come pleading for help. Don't forget you could be in danger, as well as any other family and friends that help a battered woman leave her abuser. So be sure to include provisions for your safety as well.
Write down or tape any oral threats against you made by the abuser, including the date and time the threat was made. Write down or tape those threats made by telephone, in person, or through a third party, i.e, if the abuser tells someone else what he would or may do to you, make sure go get that person's name and phone number/address as a possible witness! Keep all written threats you've received, if in e-mail, print it out! EVEN if it was not e-mailed to you directly SAVE IT and print it out. This documentation could came in handy when going to court to obtain a restraining order against the abuser, or if the police have to be called in.
REMEMBER: Many women in an abusive situation are great in denying to themselves and their loved ones around them that they are indeed being abused. I never believed it myself. The brain has away of helping a woman cope with bad memories - it blocks them and you don't remember them! It took going to some counseling sessions when I felt I was going crazy to find out I was suffering from mental abuse. The counselor easily picked up on the other forms of abuse, physical and financial that had happened in the past and that was occurring. It took a lot to convince me I was truly being abused.
One way my counselor had me realize what was going on was to have me keep a daily journal and write down a brief outline of any conversations my spouse and I had, and things that he, my kids, or my spouse did. Included was jotting down my emotions and reactions to events and conversations. I was to write in my journal as soon as I could while the events or conversation was fresh in my mind. My counselor would then review my journal with me each week. It was one of the most horrible realizations I had to face. I couldn't believe this had been happening and was happening to me. But, there was no denying it once the pattern of abuse slowly emerged from my daily journals. All I could do was question myself over and over again - why would another person try to convince someone he loved that she was going crazy? How many years had this been going on? And why? WHY? why...?
"Who me? A battered woman? No way! I have no bruises, no broken bones. I'm lucky."
No, what you do have is a broken soul, and that is just as bad as a broken body. For your own mental health you may find yourself needing to leave in a hurry. And when you do choose to leave it is more than likely the situation will turn violent, especially if your abuser sees you don't plan on returning to him. It could put your friends and family in jeopardy. So have your safety plan ready, if not for you, for the safety of your loved ones.